June 1, 2014

Hello World.

I had the weirdest mix of a good, bad, and disconcerting day yesterday. I think I mostly need to write this blog entry in order to sort it all out in my own head.

The day started inconspicuously enough. I took ballet class at 9, ended class at 11, and got a kale salad and a cookie from the bakery across the street for lunch. At 12, I was due to volunteer at the Beers for Ballet booth, which was a fundraiser for my ballet school/company at the black party that day. Even though I am not old enough to actually sell beer, I could sell water, or give the tickets for the beer to the people who had already paid. Thus, I spent three hours volunteering, listening to the live punk music they had on the stage near us, and zoning out. Then I went to go see my sister do a promotion thing at the state house for a play her theater class was putting on.

That’s when the day got weird.

There is this girl (let’s call her Alison) who I have been very good friends with since the second grade. We were inseparable until about 8th grade, when we started to drift. By this I mean that she completely dropped off the grid the summer before sophomore year after barely talking to me during my freshman year of high school.

All of a sudden yesterday she decided to get in contact again. She was at the block party that I was returning to, and once I got there, it was like we had never stopped talking. The funny thing is, she revolves in a social circle that I barely qualify to be in: the crazy party preppy kids with money to spend and rigorous social lives. So while we were trading stories, she was talking about all these people that I know by name, but don’t actually talk to. It was weird to realize how different our lives had become.

After I said goodbye to her, my sister and I walked to our friend’s house. Let’s call her Liza. All three of us were getting ready at her house and then walking to get dinner before a dance. It wasn’t exactly school dance, however; it was the Jewish community’s end of school blowout for the teens, and they were allowed to invite whoever they wanted.

There was plenty of drama getting ready; total airhead things like the fact that my sister’s outfit was too conservative. Liza lent her a crop top. I was a bit nervous about my outfit- a pair of black high-waisted shorts that barely covered my bum and a brightly patterned crop tank with no sides, just three strips of cloth connecting the front to the back. We all did our makeup, and headed out to dinner, with me and Liza pulling on sweatshirts in order to be presentable for polite society.

As we were walking, we were gossiping, and my sister was doing a pretty loud, high pitched impression of a girl we knew. A car with two college guys passed us, and we were able to make out the guy in the passenger side mimicking my sister’s voice. The driver yelled “Sorry!” out the window, causing us to dissolve into a fit of giggles. Just when we thought he had completely pulled away, we heard his loud laugher and saw him pointing at us with a grin.

Without any more mishap, we made it to a little crepe restaurant hidden at the end of the street. We met up with two of our friends and went in. My sister and one of the other girls both ordered stuffed crepes, but Liza and I only ordered smoothies. The place was pretty empty, and when the owner of the restaurant saw four girls sitting with only two crepes, he made us another one for free, which was pretty sweet. I definitely will be going there if/when I go on a date.

Then we walked to the party. I was kind of nervous already, because I didn’t really know anybody; Liz was my ticket in, so I hadn’t actually gotten an invite from anybody who was a member of the Jewish community (although I have multiple friends who are Jewish, none of them were going to thing particular event). It took me awhile to work up the courage to take off my sweatshirt, but it took longer for the dance to actually begin.

At first, there was barely anyone there, and the room was awkwardly filled with people who were too self conscious to start dancing. But as the room filled up, people started …dancing.

If you can call it that.

Before I begin my evaluation of this dance, I want to say, yes, I know I am white, and no, I’m not trying to be rude blah blah blah. When I refer to “white girls” I mean the stereotypical preppy or wannabe hipster, kind of slutty white girl. When I talk about “white boys” I mean basically the same thing, just about boys.

This dance has led me to the realization that, yes, every stereotype has root in the truth. And whoever says “white people can’t grind” are probably right about a lot of white people. Personally, I pride myself on being a very good dancer, and a decent grinder. But what these people were doing was just moving there hips side to side, with the guy feeling the girl up as much as possible before eventually the girl turned around and they started making out.

THIS IS NOT DANCING. I saw multiple people, boys and girls, take out their phones and use them WHILE GRINDING. Dancing takes focus; anything you can half-ass is not dancing. Ugh. But more on that later.

So my friend, who I can’t believe I haven’t given a name to yet (she’s the one with the bad boyfriend…who has as of March, broken up with her…let’s say Natalie), gets there, and immediately starts dancing with a guy. Almost as immediately, she stops because he is such a bad dancer. Liz and my sister both got guys, but also walked away due to lack of talent on the guys’ part. All around us, the girls are bent over, or the guy had his hand up her shirt, or is making out with her. It was kind of boring, honestly. The music was also very basic.

In walks Dan. Adfghnjmasdhjfbsl. And I don’t know how, but my sister and Liz somehow convinced me to go over and ask him to dance.

It did not go well.

In short, he said something about having to go soon (he didn’t), and then told me he couldn’t because he was “kind of in an almost thing with this girl”. I escaped with my dignity in shreds. After sulking for a little while, I decided that he wouldn’t ruin my night, and got back onto the dance floor with renewed vigor. I made eye contact with this guy who was fanning the girl in front of him with his open shirt, which I thought was hilarious. He pointed at me and smiled, knowing who I was laughing at (hint: not him) (double hint: the girl obliviously grinding away on him while he made fun of her). I just though it was funny that she was so desperate that she would let herself become a spectacle.

Speaking of desperate, however, it had been about an hour and a half, and I still was partner-less. It sucked. I was also getting a little mad at Natalie, because she kept front-grinding with me, which was kind of uncomfortable. I was keeping myself entertained by laughing at the drunk girls when…

A cute Asian guy asked to dance with me! Score!!

Except, not really. He pushed me away from my friends and into the group of people grinding in the middle. He was super handsy, and was feeling up my boobs through my shirt, until I pulled away a bit. He also tried to rub my lower-region through my shorts, which I also blocked. He got kind of impatient, and turned my face towards his and kissed me.

And I thought my other kisses were bad.

It was so bad that I kind of sat there doing nothing for a bit looking around me when I realized that I was supposed to have my eyes closed. Whoops.

He didn’t take it too badly when I pulled away though. He just moved me closer into the group of people dancing. At this point I made eye contact with Dan, which was kind of embarrassing because I honestly still would have rather been dancing with him than the guy I was currently with. But all was good, because he made his way thorough the crowd and made a point to hit my shoulder and wink at me when he passed us. At least now I know I didn’t ruin a potential friendship.

I gradually became aware that the guy next to me was THE HOTTEST FREAKING GUY IN OUR SCHOOL. This boy is a legend, with absolute Ken doll looks. He was grinding with his current flirt friend, and became aware of me as soon as I noticed him. He backed up and went in front of me and my partner, causing me to put my hand on his back to support myself. At this point my brain was like “ohmigodimtouchinghimandheisinagrindlinewithmeandwantsmetotouchhimandomigod”. It was the first and probably the last time I have ever and will ever interact with him, so I took the opportunity while I could.

At multiple points during the night, one of the bozos would drag me into a huge grind line in the center of the floor, which would last like twenty seconds before catcalls would cause the girls (including me) to break it up.

I think the guy I was dancing with got annoyed with the fact that I wouldn’t let him feel me up or kiss me, and walked away. My friends all left, and I called my mom to come get me.

As we were leaving, so was Dan, and I kind of saluted him when I said goodbye, prompting a grin and reassuring me that there were no weird feelings.

So, yeah. Dance kinda sucked, but I think it wasn’t the biggest waste of time ever.

Wild Dancer out.